Saturday 25 February 2012

25 things I learnt in Uni

No, this isn’t going to be about how 2 years away from home changed me/ made me a better person/ more focussed person, no, none of that. This is what the classrooms didn’t teach me

1. Dont mix drinks OR drinks and anything that you can smoke.

2. Waking up and feeling like crap is perfectly legit. All those who disagree, try 7 or more shots of vodka.

3. “Is that sound inside or outside my head” is a perfectly acceptable question after a night out.

4. Kebabs are your best friend after a night out.

5. Cereal at any time of the day is a legit meal. Even at 4 pm!

6. Don’t congratulate yourself on your aim, it’s not target practice if you are throwing up in the toilet. Even though it may seem so at that point in time.

7. It is completely possible to sit in front of your laptop the whole day and stream one series after the other. There’s so much to watch, it’s not even a challenge.

8. Putting oil, haldi (turmeric), mirchi (red chilli powder), dhania (coriander powder) and garam masala in anything makes it yum – doesn’t make u a world class chef.

9. It is possible to make an entire meal in the oven – frozen food FTW!

10. Putting lemonade in cheap ass wine does make it drink-able. It doesn’t make it a Cabernet Sauvignon but at least it stops tasting like vinegar.

11. Reading your drunk-texts in the morning will embarrass you. Without an exception.

12. There should be a code or a law against reminding drunk people the next day about what they did or said. Seriously, it’s lame.

13. During exams, cooking, cleaning, scrubbing your bathroom for hours, taking a walk, laundry, checking FB for every single update, chatting, checking ur mails, listening to every annoying person cry about their problems are not methods of procrastination. They are important stress busters.

14. We (Indians) genuinely have no concept of time – being late is our thing. So is being curious and gossiping about everyone else’s life.

15. It is possible to get absolutely wasted before the sun even sets. It is normal to be so before sunrise.

16. As a student, it’s your birth right to pick up stuff on offer. You know the kinds that say 3 for 1, even if it means you just spent 70p more than required. “It was on offer”. Enough said.

17. The window between spotting a person and smiling at them without looking like a creep is VERY small. So is the time frame for ” hug or not to hug” decision.

18. It is perfectly normal to cut out the fungus-ed area from your cheese and use it like it’s as good as new.

19. stalking people on FB is legal

20. never wake up people who have passed out, no matter where they are. NEVER.

21. Everything and anything can be bought at primark. All those who just cringed at this – this is why we didn’t hang out, you snob!

22. It is completely normal to travel from Manchester to any place by bus – even if it takes 2 hrs extra if its cheaper.

23. Indians talk the most abt other Indians. Thats what makes us happy – pointing at fellow Indians and going – shameless retards. Tbh, Indians are the ones that give you most reasons to be embarrassed anyway. :|

24. Never underestimate – 1 a drunk person’s hunger, 2 ability of drunk people to fit in small places and 3 size of a bed – invariably the smallest of them can fit two ppl – try head to toe!

25. The hardest decision you will make is to leave. It sucks. You will get used to it back home but your life will never be the same. People you like, people you don’t, people who like you and people who don’t will all form an important part of who you will be at the end of the year. Appreciate it.

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