Hi baby,
Welcome to 4 years of your life that are going to transform you. As someone who has just graduated (from grad school albeit), I am writing this to you because I know your mind is racing at a mile a minute and if I was with you, this is exactly the conversation we'd be having.
I know this is scary for you. For the first time in 18 years you're going to leave the comfort and security of the nest that mamma papa have built for us and step into the "real world". New country, new city, new people. I won't lie, a lot of times you're going to have to step out of your comfort zone and take that first step towards getting to know people and making new friends. It won't be easy and I know you'll be self-conscious but remember everyone there is going through the same thing as you are. They have also left their homes and starting to discover life without their parents. Enjoy your differences and celebrate your similarities.
My hope for you is to be able to make friends with people across the board, irrespective of their nationalities, color, sex, religious and spiritual beliefs, and sexual preferences. You haven't till now been given a playing field this diverse and I hope you use it for the best. I also hope you find enough kindness to not be bogged down by labels of ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ while making friends and are brave enough to look past them (walk away, even) and make friends with people with kind, giving hearts who bring you joy. These are the people you'll fall back on and there is no greater comfort than knowing that people have your back, no matter what.
In the next four years I also expect you to fall in and out of love at least a couple times (maybe more?). My hope for you is to be able to able to go through the peaks with grace and the lows with serenity and patience. It might seem unfair at times and it will hurt (as first love usually does) but know that every single person you let into your life is there for a reason - because you let them in and no one, no one at all, can take that control away from you. Just as you have let them in, it is your prerogative when to show them out. Even then, never forget to be passionate and empathetic, and most of all, kind. These are people you cared about once in your life and they cared about you, don't make them feel like garbage. You're better than that.
I know you've embarked on this journey undecided with a faint idea of what you want to do in your life and which major will best help you get there. That might change - once, maybe twice, heck change every year till you're sure. There's nothing holding you back once you start. This is your future and you are going to be the architect of your destiny. Be fierce and unafraid. Go after what you want, drop what doesn't excite you. If the world is advising you against it but in your heart you know that's what's going to make you the happiest, do it. It is probably the biggest cliché but I'll say it again - you never regret what you do, only what you don't. My hope is for you to come out of these four years with no "what ifs". If you make a mistake, we will find a way to fix it. Nothing is so permanent that it can't be fixed. And at the end of the day, any academic skill earned is an asset and not a mistake. So go ahead and discover your passion.
Last and probably the one that I know you're going to stress about the most - academics. I know you so I obviously know that anything less than a 3.5 GPA will push you over the edge. But I want you to know that none of us, parents included, think that is how you should define your four year journey. Sure your GPA is a great measurement of success but we would rather you define your success with your stories. So travel, take a semester abroad, intern at places you never thought you wanted to, get involved with the community and give back. I haven't once looked back at my time in Sophia's or Manchester and spoken about my grades. More often than not it's my experiences out of the classroom that I remember most and reminisce about. Build that world for yourself, a story that you lived to the fullest for four years. One that isn't encumbered by grades and credits but uplifted by how diverse your experiences were and how well-rounded your personality will be.
As your sister
I wish you wins, so you know and taste success but also enough losses so you're
not arrogant in your success. I hope you find friends to always have a good and
loving support system around you but also lose enough to know that
relationships take time and effort to nurture but some aren't worth the effort
and letting go is the best, for you and them. I wish you find love and lose it
too so you know what first love feels like and how to deal with its loss while
you're still young and your heart mends faster. And through it all I promise to
stand by you and help you negotiate these challenges by forcing you to be the
best version of yourself. I promise to call you out when you lose your way or
forget how to be kind. But most of all I promise to always be there - with ice
cream or boxing gloves, whatever the need beWelcome to 4 years of your life that are going to transform you. As someone who has just graduated (from grad school albeit), I am writing this to you because I know your mind is racing at a mile a minute and if I was with you, this is exactly the conversation we'd be having.
I know this is scary for you. For the first time in 18 years you're going to leave the comfort and security of the nest that mamma papa have built for us and step into the "real world". New country, new city, new people. I won't lie, a lot of times you're going to have to step out of your comfort zone and take that first step towards getting to know people and making new friends. It won't be easy and I know you'll be self-conscious but remember everyone there is going through the same thing as you are. They have also left their homes and starting to discover life without their parents. Enjoy your differences and celebrate your similarities.
My hope for you is to be able to make friends with people across the board, irrespective of their nationalities, color, sex, religious and spiritual beliefs, and sexual preferences. You haven't till now been given a playing field this diverse and I hope you use it for the best. I also hope you find enough kindness to not be bogged down by labels of ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ while making friends and are brave enough to look past them (walk away, even) and make friends with people with kind, giving hearts who bring you joy. These are the people you'll fall back on and there is no greater comfort than knowing that people have your back, no matter what.
In the next four years I also expect you to fall in and out of love at least a couple times (maybe more?). My hope for you is to be able to able to go through the peaks with grace and the lows with serenity and patience. It might seem unfair at times and it will hurt (as first love usually does) but know that every single person you let into your life is there for a reason - because you let them in and no one, no one at all, can take that control away from you. Just as you have let them in, it is your prerogative when to show them out. Even then, never forget to be passionate and empathetic, and most of all, kind. These are people you cared about once in your life and they cared about you, don't make them feel like garbage. You're better than that.
I know you've embarked on this journey undecided with a faint idea of what you want to do in your life and which major will best help you get there. That might change - once, maybe twice, heck change every year till you're sure. There's nothing holding you back once you start. This is your future and you are going to be the architect of your destiny. Be fierce and unafraid. Go after what you want, drop what doesn't excite you. If the world is advising you against it but in your heart you know that's what's going to make you the happiest, do it. It is probably the biggest cliché but I'll say it again - you never regret what you do, only what you don't. My hope is for you to come out of these four years with no "what ifs". If you make a mistake, we will find a way to fix it. Nothing is so permanent that it can't be fixed. And at the end of the day, any academic skill earned is an asset and not a mistake. So go ahead and discover your passion.
Last and probably the one that I know you're going to stress about the most - academics. I know you so I obviously know that anything less than a 3.5 GPA will push you over the edge. But I want you to know that none of us, parents included, think that is how you should define your four year journey. Sure your GPA is a great measurement of success but we would rather you define your success with your stories. So travel, take a semester abroad, intern at places you never thought you wanted to, get involved with the community and give back. I haven't once looked back at my time in Sophia's or Manchester and spoken about my grades. More often than not it's my experiences out of the classroom that I remember most and reminisce about. Build that world for yourself, a story that you lived to the fullest for four years. One that isn't encumbered by grades and credits but uplifted by how diverse your experiences were and how well-rounded your personality will be.
Love,
The Intelligent one
