I think it
was sometime in 2009 when I trekked up to the cinema hall with 3 of my closest
friends in UK for what was going to be a life changing experience. Since that
day, I have steadily maintained that my life as I knew it had changed.
As girls I
have realised it’s almost our business, no, birth right to analyse and
dismantle every words said, every move made by a man to mean something (good or bad). We
love it... it thrills us; it excites us and gives us a reason to hope. Hope
somehow is the beginning of the process. We sit there hoping and kidding
ourselves into believing and seeing things that may or may not exist. All those
who saw the movie know what I'm talking about. Yes, I am talking about he's
just not that into you.
That movie
for me broke away from the usual bull shittery of happily ever after and don’t
worry if he doesn’t give shit about you, when you finally put on tonnes of makeup
and/or wear good clothes the guy will come grovelling to you you to take him
back. Oh how I've fantasized about the
time when that happens. But for this movie, there was no fluff, no fantasies -
real women, real stories, real issues and (sometimes) heart breaking-ly real
results.
A year
after watching the movie (a couple 1000 times) a friend told me about the book.
The only thing on my mind was – if the movie was this good, the book has to be.
But it was different! It wasn’t better or worse, it was just more direct. I
don’t know if it was having it written out in print or it was having it said in
a letter format or maybe it was knowing that these were normal everyday women
(hey, the movie still had some very, very gorgeous women, here I was free to
determine the prettiness of the letter writing women :P ) facing everyday
issues that the words he’s just not that into you finally seeped into my
brains.
But more I
read the book, the more I realised it in general encompassed all the men there
are. And was it all black and white... were there no grey areas? What if a man
was actually busy with work? What if he actually was commitment-phobic? The’
what if’s’ started outweighing the honest truth of the book and I found myself
grappling at ends, wondering when is good, good enough? And what if there isn’t
a guy out there who has all of this, what do you do? Sit around and wait for what
may or may not ever happen? Is it worth giving up on a reality that is pleasant
for a dream that one day you might get up from and realise you might’ve almost had
it but you let it go.
If only I could
count the number of times I’ve hoped for my life to be a book or at least
easily lived according to the guidelines put down by someone else. But no one
said it was going to be easy. You live, you stumble, you walk and you fall, you
get up and try again. No one is going to tell you how and no one is going to tell
you just when it’s time to finally hang up your boots. But it’s always nice to
see a little board pointing you in the right direction. The book’s made sure I
am on the path at least – who know if I go the distance!
