Disclaimer - if you think this is going to help your
disastrous relationship, it won't. It’s just my thought process
I think relationships are a lot like playing snakes and ladders. What goes up, does come down (even if only once) and at some point someone u see or dodge on the way up, does meet you on the way down.
But as I grow up the games are becoming less fun and more exhausting. I'm no great shakes at relationships but I always thought because I'm not exactly the clingy, "call me every 5 minutes no baby" types I kept them quite clutter free. Apparently, not. The deeper I delve into relationships I realise what I think is clutter free is actually viewed in 3000 different ways with 6000 different explanations - each more exhausting than the previous
I wish people would realise I have zero intentions and zero thought process. I am one of the quickest people to turn off my brains and more often than not after an argument my brain goes into snooze mode and anything said or done at this point has no relevance or importance, sanity even less so. Its done without a final result in mind and its only to kick-start my brain after situations.
What no one prepared me for were the consequences. What no one told me was that when my brain and sanity collapse upon me, I will more often than not lose a supporting pillar of my strength. While my brain marches ahead to its own beat with blinders on, my poor heart will huff and puff, crawl and trip toward the direction my head is going in. And by the time it reaches close to my head it will be torn, broken and tattered with scars that will take forever to heal, leaving me with lessons learnt, and memories never to be forgotten
I think relationships are a lot like playing snakes and ladders. What goes up, does come down (even if only once) and at some point someone u see or dodge on the way up, does meet you on the way down.
But as I grow up the games are becoming less fun and more exhausting. I'm no great shakes at relationships but I always thought because I'm not exactly the clingy, "call me every 5 minutes no baby" types I kept them quite clutter free. Apparently, not. The deeper I delve into relationships I realise what I think is clutter free is actually viewed in 3000 different ways with 6000 different explanations - each more exhausting than the previous
I wish people would realise I have zero intentions and zero thought process. I am one of the quickest people to turn off my brains and more often than not after an argument my brain goes into snooze mode and anything said or done at this point has no relevance or importance, sanity even less so. Its done without a final result in mind and its only to kick-start my brain after situations.
What no one prepared me for were the consequences. What no one told me was that when my brain and sanity collapse upon me, I will more often than not lose a supporting pillar of my strength. While my brain marches ahead to its own beat with blinders on, my poor heart will huff and puff, crawl and trip toward the direction my head is going in. And by the time it reaches close to my head it will be torn, broken and tattered with scars that will take forever to heal, leaving me with lessons learnt, and memories never to be forgotten
like the snakes and ladders analogy. Zero intentions as in?
ReplyDeletesome people think i pre meditate what im going to do and/ or say... truth is i dont - the distance between my brains and the other part of my body are woefully long. Before my brain can register and react, my tongue has already done the deed :)
ReplyDeleteRelationships are indeed like playing snakes n ladders. Very well said and a brilliant opening line.
ReplyDeletethank you. was gonna say they eventually come and bite u in the ass at some point but thought i should let it be :p
ReplyDeletei love the last para because i kinda live the last para *hugs*
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be logical to address pro's and con's, effects and consequences before taking actions, not just with respect to relationships?
ReplyDeletepossibly that is the best way forward... but the truth is, more often than not im more impulsive than i like. But then again, you always run the risk of overthinking in situations....
ReplyDelete